Godfather Advice Notes – No.7

Girls 6/423000

“Do you love me?”

This question is every man’s nightmare. It is tantamount to an assault and is a veritable minefield. Treat it with deep suspicion and consider your response very carefully; you need to be prepared in advance for this one. Do not trouble yourself with discovering or giving the real answer. Women interpret love in black and white. We know it is very grey.

The simple answers don’t work. “No” can have explosive consequences and can be interpreted as meaning you want to end the relationship; it will cause an embarrassing and unseemly scene and ruin your day. You should always end a relationship on your own terms and when you want to; don’t let her push you into it. Remember you may not be in love with her, but she might be a damn good shag.

“Yes” or “Of course” looks, on the face of it, to be the easy option. It isn’t. You may think you have cleverly dealt with the situation and can get back to watching the football; however she will see through this and embark on a lengthy follow up procedure such as “Why?” Or “How much do you love me?” or “Do you mean it?” or “Do you really really love me?”

Prevarication is the name of the game; you may need to buy some time. Try “Where did that come from?” or “Who wants to know?” or “Define love” or “What is love, anyway?” (breaking into the Howard Jones song for a distraction) or “What do you think?” After all she probably knows the answer anyway; which is of course why she’s asking in the first place!

At best view this as an opportunity for sex.